Overall I like this story for the way that it provides me with information about these roundabouts. You've done a good job with telling me about why they are used and how they are improvements over certain intersections. You also explain how they work which is good for us since we've been seeing them slowly pop up on Kauai. I think your third revision of your script is undoubtably your best. However your choice of sound bites to explain what a roundabout is needs work. I need you to explain in simple terms, what a roundabout is. Your sound bites talk about how in the 60's England changed the way they entered round intersections. That's confusing. I need you to tell me what a roundabout is, how it is simply a circular road that replaces an intersection where the traffic moves in just one direction. Your first point is that you're supposed to explain what a roundabout is. Your chosen sound bites don't do that. Your choice of shots seem random. There are no sequences here. They just seem to be random shots of a roundabout without much thought put to them. Listen to what your sound bites say at the time and think about how best you could sequence some shots together to show that. For example, in the beginning your intro talks about how people get seriously injured by intersections but you chose to show me two shots of a roundabout instead. That doesn't match. Your other shots of intersections also fail to show me the entire intersection so they have a hard time matching up with your sound bites. Technically your shots need better color balancing. Some are nice and rich while others are washed out and bland. Your interviews aren't bad although I can see your reflection in the TV behind the second person. Audio for both are good. Carter, you know that it's sometimes hard to understand your speech so if you're going to be the reporter, you really have to work on making sure that your voice is clear and that you pronounce your words carefully. At times it's hard to understand what you're trying to say. You also sound like you're not into it, like this is boring even to you. You need to sound more upbeat, like you're talking to your friend instead of reading a script. That voice is crucial to your story and with your speech issues, you really need to practice your voice overs over and over again until you sound more comfortable with them. I'd like to see this worked on some more with better b-roll, better sound bite choices, and a better reporter track. Let's see what you can do to go from good to great. Overall I'm giving this a 3.4 which is a B.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.